“You’re Not Depressed Because You Don’t Want to Kill Yourself…”


“You’re not depressed because you don’t want to kill yourself…” That’s what my mother told me a few nights ago during an argument. Lately I’ve been opening up to people I know about my depression. It took all of my courage to tell my parents about it, and I didn’t exactly get the reaction I was hoping for. I hoped they would be caring and try their best to help me get through this, but instead pushed it aside and told me that I’m not depressed, just moody and hormonal. Going through a phase. A phase that has lasted 2 ½ years. A phase that makes me feel hopeless and cry for hours without any good reason. A phase that puts thoughts in my head about certain what ifs and if anyone would care…

Along with depression I’m also extremely socially anxious. I have panic attacks if I have to talk in front of people or if I’m in a large crowd. I’ve asked my parents about homeschooling because I believe it would help me become less stressed and uncomfortable compared to public school. Fortunately my mother is willing to let me go about this drastic change, but on one condition.

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